[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
I can hear her heart pounding under my ear. She went very still, and I want her to relax. I pull her
closer and shift so she s comfortable, and I feel her melt with me.
I close my eyes and my mind feels quiet. It is quiet. I like it. I m not thinking of anything except the
pounding of her heart under my ear. Then I feel her fingernail along my earlobe and I tighten my hold
to keep her locked to me. Tenderness oozes out of her like a blanket. I shouldn t want it this much, but
I do. Nobody can take this from me.
You guys want a time-out when we get to the hotel? Pete asks us in a voice that I can barely
recognize as Pete s.
She s moving her fingers in my hair, and when she doesn t speak, I move my head yes, not lifting it
so that she won t take her hands away. I crave her hands. It s not the contact as much as the tenderness
in her touch. The way her fingers respect my muscles, push just enough, support and help them let go.
It happens inside me. I don t believe in words, but I believe in this.
She strokes me all over with both hands, softly, and I hear her chatting with Diane about a recipe
for me while we ride to the hotel, and her heart is steady and strong under my ear, and she s small and
fragile and smells like she does, and I am never letting her go.
I will. Kill myself. Before letting her go.
When we get to the suite, I m anxious again. She s getting her cosmetics out of her suitcase, and I
watch her hands move on her bag and pull out her toothbrush, and then she brushes her teeth. And I do
nothing but crave crave crave. Inside me in the very pit of my being.
I want to break that fucking toothbrush and anything that takes her from me.
She rinses and towels her hands as I approach. She looks at me questioningly and I can t explain
what I need, but I am in a tangle and roiling and I need her like my next breath, and if I had to choose,
I would choose her over oxygen.
I lift her in my arms and carry her to the bed, and she cuddles into my neck and breathes me as I
lower her.
I pull off her small shoes and toss them aside, then take off mine and speak gruffly. I want your
hands on my head.
She edges back on the bed. Does it calm your racing thoughts?
I take her hand and spread it over my chest. It calms me here.
Just feeling her fingers spread over me, I can breathe better, I stop thinking. I stare back into her
eyes and slide next to her, then I drop my head to her chest and smell her neck. I m so fucking in love
with her I don t think anybody could ever hurt me like this girl could. Not Scorpion, not my parents.
Because I don t care about them. Now all I care about is her.
I feel her softly kiss the top of my head as she runs her fingertips through my scalp.
This is the way I want to die one day.
With her at my side, our bodies touching. I won t need to say anything, and she won t need to hear
it, because she gets me. She gets that words are sometimes bullshit and people don t mean what they
say and through it all it s only actions that matter. And all I care is that she gets me. We are yin and
yang or whatever that shit is called; she is my female and I need her. I knew it from the instant I saw
her, and she knew it too, and that s why she ran. She wanted me to chase and I did. I will chase her
every time she wants to see if I want her and need her enough.
Quietly, she caresses me. I lie completely still and soak up her caresses, taking what she gives me,
because she makes me realize I am so starved for it that I would kill for this, and for her.
And my brain goes quiet and my heart is calm and my life is at a standstill, and the pendulum that I
am, all the swinging to and fro, finally stops and I feel like I finally found my center.
e& e& e&
I THINK I fall asleep. I dream of elevators, pink pants, swings, and Paris. I dream of her laughing
in a Hummer limo and cupping my jaw and touching my hair and looking at me like I am the only man
alive and like she loves me.
I wake up and she s holding me in her arms and I don t know what time it is, but I see she s still in [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl karpacz24.htw.pl
I can hear her heart pounding under my ear. She went very still, and I want her to relax. I pull her
closer and shift so she s comfortable, and I feel her melt with me.
I close my eyes and my mind feels quiet. It is quiet. I like it. I m not thinking of anything except the
pounding of her heart under my ear. Then I feel her fingernail along my earlobe and I tighten my hold
to keep her locked to me. Tenderness oozes out of her like a blanket. I shouldn t want it this much, but
I do. Nobody can take this from me.
You guys want a time-out when we get to the hotel? Pete asks us in a voice that I can barely
recognize as Pete s.
She s moving her fingers in my hair, and when she doesn t speak, I move my head yes, not lifting it
so that she won t take her hands away. I crave her hands. It s not the contact as much as the tenderness
in her touch. The way her fingers respect my muscles, push just enough, support and help them let go.
It happens inside me. I don t believe in words, but I believe in this.
She strokes me all over with both hands, softly, and I hear her chatting with Diane about a recipe
for me while we ride to the hotel, and her heart is steady and strong under my ear, and she s small and
fragile and smells like she does, and I am never letting her go.
I will. Kill myself. Before letting her go.
When we get to the suite, I m anxious again. She s getting her cosmetics out of her suitcase, and I
watch her hands move on her bag and pull out her toothbrush, and then she brushes her teeth. And I do
nothing but crave crave crave. Inside me in the very pit of my being.
I want to break that fucking toothbrush and anything that takes her from me.
She rinses and towels her hands as I approach. She looks at me questioningly and I can t explain
what I need, but I am in a tangle and roiling and I need her like my next breath, and if I had to choose,
I would choose her over oxygen.
I lift her in my arms and carry her to the bed, and she cuddles into my neck and breathes me as I
lower her.
I pull off her small shoes and toss them aside, then take off mine and speak gruffly. I want your
hands on my head.
She edges back on the bed. Does it calm your racing thoughts?
I take her hand and spread it over my chest. It calms me here.
Just feeling her fingers spread over me, I can breathe better, I stop thinking. I stare back into her
eyes and slide next to her, then I drop my head to her chest and smell her neck. I m so fucking in love
with her I don t think anybody could ever hurt me like this girl could. Not Scorpion, not my parents.
Because I don t care about them. Now all I care about is her.
I feel her softly kiss the top of my head as she runs her fingertips through my scalp.
This is the way I want to die one day.
With her at my side, our bodies touching. I won t need to say anything, and she won t need to hear
it, because she gets me. She gets that words are sometimes bullshit and people don t mean what they
say and through it all it s only actions that matter. And all I care is that she gets me. We are yin and
yang or whatever that shit is called; she is my female and I need her. I knew it from the instant I saw
her, and she knew it too, and that s why she ran. She wanted me to chase and I did. I will chase her
every time she wants to see if I want her and need her enough.
Quietly, she caresses me. I lie completely still and soak up her caresses, taking what she gives me,
because she makes me realize I am so starved for it that I would kill for this, and for her.
And my brain goes quiet and my heart is calm and my life is at a standstill, and the pendulum that I
am, all the swinging to and fro, finally stops and I feel like I finally found my center.
e& e& e&
I THINK I fall asleep. I dream of elevators, pink pants, swings, and Paris. I dream of her laughing
in a Hummer limo and cupping my jaw and touching my hair and looking at me like I am the only man
alive and like she loves me.
I wake up and she s holding me in her arms and I don t know what time it is, but I see she s still in [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]