[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
and hit the street, Faith tried to turn in the direction of her office.
Sawyer firmly propelled her the opposite way.
"Sawyer, I can't," she cried.
"I have work to do."
"Work will wait. This won't."
"What's the big rush?"
He strode on holding her arm, his dark eyes straight ahead.
"Yesterday was unbearable. Last night was even worse. I won't let
things go on like this. I spent years watching my marriage fizzle, and
I didn't fight because I didn't care, but I care about this. You say
it's over.
I don't believe that. If you want to convince me, you'll have to do it
now. "
"I just did," she argued.
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
"This relationship is too much for me to handle."
"Bullshit."
"Say what you want, but it's true." "You were handling it just fine at
the start of the week," he argued, generating anger to cover up the
unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Nothing's changed since then, except that you started getting scared
that you couldn't handle it. So you decided not to try.
That is cowardly. Faith, cowardly }" " So I'm a coward. That's as
good a reason as any why it won't work. "
They reached Timothy's. Sawyer kept his hand in firm possession of her
arm while he drew her through the door.
"Two of whatever's on tap," he called to the bartender as he swept down
the long bar to a booth near the back. It was the only free one. The
bar was filling up with happy-hour patrons. The noise of their chatter
didn't bother him, any more than the dimness of the place did. Both
provided a certain privacy.
When he'd successfully nudged Faith into the booth, he slid in opposite
her. Without preamble, he pierced her with vibrant brown eyes and
picked up where they'd left off.
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
"What you're doing is totally out of character. You weren't meant to
be a coward, Faith. Professionally, you're one of the bravest women I
know. You've taken on cases that other lawyers have refused, and
you've won. You've taken on Boston's staid legal community and done
more for family law than any other lawyer in years. And you haven't
done so badly personally, either. You stuck with Jack because you
believed in marriage, and when it became obvious that it wouldn't work,
you had the courage to let go."
She sputtered out a laugh.
"That's a contrived way of looking at it. I failed in my marriage. I
stuck with it because I didn 't have the courage to let go. I only got
out when it became obvious that there was nothing left. It didn't take
courage at that point."
Sawyer wanted to scream in frustration. He didn't understand why she
had to be so hard on herself.
"Why do you insist on seeing the worst?
Why do you choose the most pessimistic view of what happened? There
were positive things in your marriage. I saw them. " He gave a small,
impatient shake of his head.
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
"But I don't want to talk about your marriage to Jack. That's over and
done. I want to talk about us."
Resting her head against the wood back of the booth. Faith eyed him
forlornly.
"Nothing's changed. Back when we were at the Cape, I told you my
worries. They're the same."
"You're afraid you'll disappoint me."
"And myself."
"Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday--were you disappointed?"
She thought back to the warmth in which he'd kept her cocooned, and she
couldn't lie.
"No. I wasn't disappointed then."
"Because you enjoyed what we did. You enjoyed being together."
She nodded. "But I grew dependent on that, and I don't like being
dependent."
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
"So you tried to put me off. That's why you wouldn't see me yesterday
or last night."
She tried to defend herself.
"Things between us have gotten too intense too fast. We need to cool
off."
"But we won't. Out of sight doesn't mean out of mind." He spared only
a moment's glance at the frothy steins the bartender brought. "I
thought about you all last night. Can you honestly say you didn't
think about me?"
"No. I thought about you."
"And you decided that since you like me so much, you shouldn't see me
so much. You don't want to become too dependent on me--or have me
become too dependent on you. You don't want to be disappointed if
something goes wrong." Arms on the table flanking his untouched beer,
he leaned forward.
"That is convoluted logic. It's like saying that a lamp makes reading
a breeze, but you'll sit in the dark so you won't come to rely on the
lamp in case the bulb blows. Well, hell, if the bulb blows, you get
another. Things can be repaired. So can relationships, if they mean
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
enough to you."
Eyes holding hers, he sat back.
"The Leindeckers are together again. I got a call from Bruce after
lunch telling me that they've kissed and made up."
That was news to Faith. "Really?" she asked cautiously.
He nodded.
"I haven't heard anything about it from Laura."
"Because you've been incommunicado since lunchtime. She called. Loni
told me."
In the brief respite from her own troubles. Faith allowed a small
smile.
"They're forgetting about the divorce?"
"They're going to try to work things out. Bruce was extremely grateful
to us. Especially to you. Laura told him that you kept pushing for a
reconciliation. You kept telling her to talk with him and tell him how
she felt." He paused, wondering if she was getting the point, deducing
from the unenlightened look on her face that she wasn't, deciding to
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
make it himself.
"How can you preach that and not do it yourself?"
Her eyes widened.
"I am talking to you. You know how I feel."
"You wouldn't talk with me yesterday, and, no, I don't really know how
you feel. You've never said whether you love me or not."
"I have, too. I've told you I love you dozens of time."
"As a friend."
She swallowed. Closing her eyes for a minute, she thought of those
warm, wonderful times when she lay in his arms.
"And as a lover," she said, sending him an unknowingly adoring look.
"I could never respond to you the way I do, or do the things I do to
you if I didn't love you."
For the first time since he'd found her at the library, Sawyer
experienced a faint lightening in the area of his heart. Again, he
leaned forward, this time beseechingly.
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
"Then give it a try, Faith.
Don't fight it. Don't ruin the present by worrying about the future.
"
When he saw the skepticism on her face, he hurried on.
"Listen, I don't know what the future holds. None of us do. Life
doesn't come with a road map telling exactly what turn to take when in
order to get to a prescribed destination." That thought gave him
pause.
"Where do you want to go? Do you know? Supposing you were to look
ahead ten or twenty years, what do you see yourself doing, being?"
"I see myself as a successful lawyer."
"What else?"
"I don't now."
"What do you mean, you don't know? What do you dreamT' " I don't know.
"
"You do, but you won't say. You are as bad as Laura Leindecker."
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
"And you're like Bruce. You won't leave me alone. Why not. Sawyer?
That's all I'm asking, just to be left alone. Is it so difficult to
do? "
Straightening his shoulders. Sawyer took a different tack. Keeping
his voice low, he said, "Okay. I could leave you alone. I could let
you go back to the kind of life where work is basically all there is.
I could let you bury yourself in the law. I could disappear from your
life. Does that sound better?"
It sounded devastating, but she didn't say it.
He went on. "We could do what we did for years, bump into each other
at conferences or seminars or political fund raisers Maybe we'll even
have another chance to work with each other. We could meet by accident [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl karpacz24.htw.pl
and hit the street, Faith tried to turn in the direction of her office.
Sawyer firmly propelled her the opposite way.
"Sawyer, I can't," she cried.
"I have work to do."
"Work will wait. This won't."
"What's the big rush?"
He strode on holding her arm, his dark eyes straight ahead.
"Yesterday was unbearable. Last night was even worse. I won't let
things go on like this. I spent years watching my marriage fizzle, and
I didn't fight because I didn't care, but I care about this. You say
it's over.
I don't believe that. If you want to convince me, you'll have to do it
now. "
"I just did," she argued.
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
"This relationship is too much for me to handle."
"Bullshit."
"Say what you want, but it's true." "You were handling it just fine at
the start of the week," he argued, generating anger to cover up the
unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Nothing's changed since then, except that you started getting scared
that you couldn't handle it. So you decided not to try.
That is cowardly. Faith, cowardly }" " So I'm a coward. That's as
good a reason as any why it won't work. "
They reached Timothy's. Sawyer kept his hand in firm possession of her
arm while he drew her through the door.
"Two of whatever's on tap," he called to the bartender as he swept down
the long bar to a booth near the back. It was the only free one. The
bar was filling up with happy-hour patrons. The noise of their chatter
didn't bother him, any more than the dimness of the place did. Both
provided a certain privacy.
When he'd successfully nudged Faith into the booth, he slid in opposite
her. Without preamble, he pierced her with vibrant brown eyes and
picked up where they'd left off.
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
"What you're doing is totally out of character. You weren't meant to
be a coward, Faith. Professionally, you're one of the bravest women I
know. You've taken on cases that other lawyers have refused, and
you've won. You've taken on Boston's staid legal community and done
more for family law than any other lawyer in years. And you haven't
done so badly personally, either. You stuck with Jack because you
believed in marriage, and when it became obvious that it wouldn't work,
you had the courage to let go."
She sputtered out a laugh.
"That's a contrived way of looking at it. I failed in my marriage. I
stuck with it because I didn 't have the courage to let go. I only got
out when it became obvious that there was nothing left. It didn't take
courage at that point."
Sawyer wanted to scream in frustration. He didn't understand why she
had to be so hard on herself.
"Why do you insist on seeing the worst?
Why do you choose the most pessimistic view of what happened? There
were positive things in your marriage. I saw them. " He gave a small,
impatient shake of his head.
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
"But I don't want to talk about your marriage to Jack. That's over and
done. I want to talk about us."
Resting her head against the wood back of the booth. Faith eyed him
forlornly.
"Nothing's changed. Back when we were at the Cape, I told you my
worries. They're the same."
"You're afraid you'll disappoint me."
"And myself."
"Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday--were you disappointed?"
She thought back to the warmth in which he'd kept her cocooned, and she
couldn't lie.
"No. I wasn't disappointed then."
"Because you enjoyed what we did. You enjoyed being together."
She nodded. "But I grew dependent on that, and I don't like being
dependent."
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
"So you tried to put me off. That's why you wouldn't see me yesterday
or last night."
She tried to defend herself.
"Things between us have gotten too intense too fast. We need to cool
off."
"But we won't. Out of sight doesn't mean out of mind." He spared only
a moment's glance at the frothy steins the bartender brought. "I
thought about you all last night. Can you honestly say you didn't
think about me?"
"No. I thought about you."
"And you decided that since you like me so much, you shouldn't see me
so much. You don't want to become too dependent on me--or have me
become too dependent on you. You don't want to be disappointed if
something goes wrong." Arms on the table flanking his untouched beer,
he leaned forward.
"That is convoluted logic. It's like saying that a lamp makes reading
a breeze, but you'll sit in the dark so you won't come to rely on the
lamp in case the bulb blows. Well, hell, if the bulb blows, you get
another. Things can be repaired. So can relationships, if they mean
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
enough to you."
Eyes holding hers, he sat back.
"The Leindeckers are together again. I got a call from Bruce after
lunch telling me that they've kissed and made up."
That was news to Faith. "Really?" she asked cautiously.
He nodded.
"I haven't heard anything about it from Laura."
"Because you've been incommunicado since lunchtime. She called. Loni
told me."
In the brief respite from her own troubles. Faith allowed a small
smile.
"They're forgetting about the divorce?"
"They're going to try to work things out. Bruce was extremely grateful
to us. Especially to you. Laura told him that you kept pushing for a
reconciliation. You kept telling her to talk with him and tell him how
she felt." He paused, wondering if she was getting the point, deducing
from the unenlightened look on her face that she wasn't, deciding to
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
make it himself.
"How can you preach that and not do it yourself?"
Her eyes widened.
"I am talking to you. You know how I feel."
"You wouldn't talk with me yesterday, and, no, I don't really know how
you feel. You've never said whether you love me or not."
"I have, too. I've told you I love you dozens of time."
"As a friend."
She swallowed. Closing her eyes for a minute, she thought of those
warm, wonderful times when she lay in his arms.
"And as a lover," she said, sending him an unknowingly adoring look.
"I could never respond to you the way I do, or do the things I do to
you if I didn't love you."
For the first time since he'd found her at the library, Sawyer
experienced a faint lightening in the area of his heart. Again, he
leaned forward, this time beseechingly.
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
"Then give it a try, Faith.
Don't fight it. Don't ruin the present by worrying about the future.
"
When he saw the skepticism on her face, he hurried on.
"Listen, I don't know what the future holds. None of us do. Life
doesn't come with a road map telling exactly what turn to take when in
order to get to a prescribed destination." That thought gave him
pause.
"Where do you want to go? Do you know? Supposing you were to look
ahead ten or twenty years, what do you see yourself doing, being?"
"I see myself as a successful lawyer."
"What else?"
"I don't now."
"What do you mean, you don't know? What do you dreamT' " I don't know.
"
"You do, but you won't say. You are as bad as Laura Leindecker."
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html
"And you're like Bruce. You won't leave me alone. Why not. Sawyer?
That's all I'm asking, just to be left alone. Is it so difficult to
do? "
Straightening his shoulders. Sawyer took a different tack. Keeping
his voice low, he said, "Okay. I could leave you alone. I could let
you go back to the kind of life where work is basically all there is.
I could let you bury yourself in the law. I could disappear from your
life. Does that sound better?"
It sounded devastating, but she didn't say it.
He went on. "We could do what we did for years, bump into each other
at conferences or seminars or political fund raisers Maybe we'll even
have another chance to work with each other. We could meet by accident [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]